Just the beginning

In all the years, continents, countries, states, schools and classes

We were born in this one place and this specific time 

Lone Peak High School class of 2016

And the laughs, tears, anger, terrible days, the best days so far, and so forth has happened throughout this school

And I know that it was no coincidence that we are in this moment right now and the stories

that have happened to us are all here to make us one of a kind. 

High school didn't make is robots 

They taught us things that hasn't happened to anyone else 

And taught us what makes us individually happy 

And so far I am excited to share with the world who I am and what Lone Peak has taught me

And my friends

And teachers

And family 

So although it wasn't easy, my hat is off to you high school

For teaching me who I am

And who I am not 

And who I will become (I can't wait!) 

Cheers.

High school

I'm not nostalgic about you.

But see me in 3 weeks.

My heart

You broke my heart 

And I didn't even realized that I had given it to you.

Asking and dogs

Let me preface this story with one thing

IM TERRIFIED OF DOGS

Seriously. 

To the point where I avoid houses that have dogs all together. 

(But I am somehow suppose to go on a mission? Ha)

I have been chased, jumped on, etc. by dogs and I'm pretty sure they're all out to get me. 

Also I had a really bad experience that triggered my fear.

But that is not the story I am telling today. 

Today I am going to tell you the story of bring a good sister.

I use to always help my oldest brother ask to dances. I was simply the best at the job (or I was at the time). 

So homecoming rolls around and it time to help again. We get everything ready to go and set out on what was to become a terrible experience for all involved (especially me). 

We drive by the house and plot out where he is going to park and where I will run. I make sure that they're are no dogs around and get out of the car with the stuff to ask.

 I put it nicely on the door, ring the doorbell a few times and RUN to where my brother was parked in just a cul-de-sac right below where this girl lived. 

Well on my little jog, as you can guess, a dog appears from nowhere. 

No this is not just a little dog. This is practically a bear. And he just starts barking/growling/about to kill me sounds that made me terrified in every type of way. 

So what do I do?

Well the dog wouldn't let me pass him and my brother is just down the street so I start yelling,

CHANDLER, CHANDLER (cue tears) CHANDDDDLLLEERRR!!!!

What seems like a lifetime between my screams and the dog's barking, my brother came thinking I might have gone the wrong way. When he saw me he pulled over I ran in and was so happy to be inside his car I think I cried even more. 

As my brother saw the dog he puts two and two together and realizes that, that didn't go well for anyone. 

Well this story has a happy ending because the girl he had asked, heard me screaming my brother's name and didn't have go to all the work to figure out who it was!! Score! (My brother still doesn't think of it in that way and I still get made fun of by my family with this story).

I essentially did 2 people a favor that day while risking my own life. It is something I will never forget.

The end  

Me

Hi

I'm Cassandra 

Yep I just said who I was right off the bat because we all know that we just look to the end of this reveal post on everyone's page and see who it is and then say NO WAY.

But here it is my "reveal".

I'm terrified of dogs

I am the only girl in my family (and I love it)

I am very political

And very opiniated 

And my Mom says that I intimidate boys too much 

But I like being me

Also I have done musical theatre my whole life and love it sooo much 

But I have hid my love for it for a long time because people made fun of it, even though I have continued to do it

But I don't care anymore 

Because I'm looking for people to go to the theater with

I love old movies 

High society, an American in Paris, singing in the rain, an affair to remember, etc. 

I also love chocolate dipped strawberries 

And I giggle way too much 

I am a introvert and after a long hard week it is hard for me to go out on Fridays 

And I don't hang out consistently with people because I will have a performance or I am so tired and that is probably why I don't get asked to school dance 

Or I really am just intimidating lol 

I am so excited to go to college and move on 

I am sick on getting ready for school each day 

Because I do care

But I don't 

And senioritis is the worst 

Anyways I'm getting off topic 

So what I'm trying to say is hi lone peak 

I'm Cassandra 

 

Opinions

I don't really know where I am going with this post but it's been on my mind everyday and so I am going to see if I can talk about it. 

Opinions.

 Why is this so important to write about to me? (well I am going to give you my opinion lol). 

Our whole world is made up of opinions. The opinion of the best religion, political belief, brand of cereal, etc. All of our opinions varies person to person and one opinion might make us win a situation that others would lose and vise Vera.

I guess what I am trying to say is that our opinions make us who we are and they make us contradict others and sometimes ourselves and they make us happy and sad and they make us angry and hate ourselves and others

 and opinions are a mess. 

And I'm trying to figure our how different opinions are tearing not only our country, but world apart. I know we need to all look at things differently but our opinions are flawed and opinions can be very dangerous. 

But they are also one of the most powerful things and they turn simple human beings into people that change the world. 

And I think that we need to talk about opinions and facts more often not to change what everyone thinks into one thesis but to make sure people have research 100% of a subject and then make a opinion based on that.

Because I fear if people keep making opinions without proper research, then our world will become a place that in contradictory of itself. 

I really don't know if this makes sense and this is a very rough draft but I think it is a place to start and that we need to talk about. 

If you have any further opinions (see what I did there) on anything or on adding to this post I would love to hear. 

Also I sound like a total nerd in this post. 

Little by little

And little by little you broke my heart.

It didn't happen overnight. 

Which is the worst way to break the bond because

 every day I saw you

You saw less of me.

And that is all I was ever afraid of.

Searching for eyes

I am human because of how I search 

I don't search in a system of 1's and 0's 

And their is no real answers to my searches

But I do search for you

(That sounds so weird) 

But it's not weird because you always are looking back

But when we talk

We turn into robots 

With a standard conversation 

And no eye contact 

But maybe it's because we are finally next to each other that we realize that if we looked at each other that our robots of who we are would shut down

And then we be left with eye contact

Which is how you fall in love

So we continue to keep searching from across the room for that connection 

Because in that moment of eye contact we are not our usual day to day robots that everyone is

We are people. The only two people 

Tonight's thoughts

I don't feel different tonight 

But I don't feel like I fit in either

And it's one of the hardest things to understand 

I am still trying to make different a good thing

But I'm tired 

and this post is not helping my mind 

Being different is good 

Being different is good

Being different is good

Maybe I'll figure that out in college 

Childhood

Favorite color as a child: brown*

*see interview of my brother asking me on his talk show

Best friend: my cousin

We barely talk anymore 

Favorite memory: watching lighting storms with my family 

Now half of them have moved out 

First kiss: age 6, next door neighbor 

He is getting married in two months 

Favorite hobby: singing karaoke to my friends

My friends don't know how much I love to sing and that I take lessons

change.

To whom it may concern

I don't know why but this quote keeps on running through my head tonight. Maybe I am suppose to share it because one of you needs it. If so, thank you for letting me share it with you. This quote has changed my perspective on life. 

So here you go. 

"You are enough, you are so enough, it is unbelievable how enough you are."

I didn't get this quote the first time I read it and I still find meaning today depending of my situation. I would suggest that you read it more than one to find one than more meaning of this quote. 

Thanks again for letting me share it. 

Sincerely,

Olivia Bea 

Are you ok

A good friend of mine asks me two to three times a day if I'm ok. She says it with a concerned look always. She is such a nice friend who is just looking out for me. But it bugs me. I feel like I am a very happy person but she said it to me like I have an illness. I honestly think it is just an innocent question from her but I can't figure it out, (the question and why it makes me mad). I want to be happy and I want to be happy with other people but this question of are you ok is always stuck in my head like I need to make sure at every moment that I am.

 I am ok. 

And I hope that I can get that through my own head soon enough that I can stop questioning if I am.

One brick

One brick decided that it wasn't important in the wall. 

It was like all the others.

The brick decided to crumble and the whole wall came down. 

We need all the bricks in life. We make up something much bigger than who we are but

People need us

And depend on us. 

They're is something much bigger than us alone. 

Don't become that one brick

We need you

City Love

I've never been in love with a person before, but I have been in love with a city. I think that even though love is different for everyone, the concept is universal so I hope to explain love through my city today.

New York City

I know that might sounds cliche to be in love with that city but their is just something about it that makes me giddy. Some days I'll see something, or hear a song that I listened to there that just sends waves of joy to me and it feels like my heart could burst. 

New York City feels like home. I remember that very distinctly after the first time I went, "home" just didn't feel the same.

 I don't love everything about NYC I'll be honest. But the overall feeling I get when I'm there is so much better than the few details that I don't love. 

You find something new every time you go to the city. It's incredible and you find store that are your favorite and you spend a lot of time there. Their are so many parts to New York that bring out different sides to you and you can just be yourself and you feel safe. I have so many dreams in New York and the city gives me the energy to reach them.

 I hope that their is some similarities with my city love and being in love with a person. I may be way off target but I hope to find out soon enough. 

A Coma

I wonder what happen if I was in a coma. 

Who would come visit me, would the word spread all over school, what would teachers think, what would my friends think, what would that boy think that I have been trying to get over for who knows how long? I'm not say that people aren't good people and would be like thank goodness she is gone for a bit I've been needing a break!(which if you feel that way then whatevs). Anyways, I really want to know what people would think. Would they think about it for a second or would some people (excluding my mom) lose sleep over it (not that anyone ever would) but what if my friend and I got in a fight the day before and they didn't know if we could ever make up. I'm not trying to offend anyone by this post and say we are concerned for others or looking for pity I'm just wondering if anyone would have regrets with any of our daily occurances with each other. I wonder if people would come visit me or if people would post a picture of us on Twitter with a hashtag that said #prayforoliviabea 

I also wonder what would be my first thoughts. Of course my family and getting back into reality but what about an hour later. Would I be thinking about my friend who I got into a fight with or that boy that I can't stop thinking about or who had posted about me? I wonder if my perspective would change and I hope that I wouldn't be so shallow to worry on who posted about me. 

But you really don't have to go through that to have a fresh perspective. You wake up everyday and maybe you had a fight the day before and a boy you don't know of was thinking about you and maybe it was your birthday and 3 people posted about you. Those post don't matter, you can make up with your friend, and you can finally take a risk and tell that boy. 

You don't need to wait any longer to start fresh. 

Finding One Hat

We all wear different hats everyday in our lives. (How many blog posts on hats have you seen start like this? Probably a lot but I hope to change you view on what this really means.) I mean their is the hat when you are around you friends, and the hat when you are around your family, and the athletics hat, work hat, student hat (that hat might be different for each teacher), etc. We are constantly changing our hats hour by hour, day by day and it is exhausting. 

Let's back up a little bit. When I was starting this post I had no idea what I was going to write on concerning hats. So I took to Pinterest (I'm basic) to look for anything I could that goes with hats. I found this really bad and cheesy looking decal on a wall that said "Home is where you hang yer (yes yer) (I know it makes me uncomfortable too) hat." It struck a cord in me and goes right in with my first paragraph. 

We need to wear the same hat all the time and we need to be constant with who we are. We don't need to be hanging up a different hat at the end of each day that we have been wearing, pretending to be someone. We should be wearing a hat that is comfortable to us and that we don't have to change really quickly when we are with someone. All of our hats look different but I have learned that I appreciate a person more when they can just be themselves no matter who they are around. You don't see many who have the courage to wear the same hat everyday (in fact most would think that is out of style) but I find it refreshing. I think all I'm really trying to say is: 

Be constant in who you are. 

Be constant in who you are.

Be constant in who you are. 

Figuring out high school

Things I never figured out in high school:

-How to get thousands of followers on Instagram/Twitter. 

-How to get a boyfriend. 

-How to keep a interesting conversation up when you are just texting someone (actually my worst nightmare is for a cute boy to constantly text me) (probably why they never did, word gets around I guess).

-How to wear a new and cute outfit everyday. 

-How to make a good impression on everyone you meet.

-How to be photogenic (please leave pointers in the comments below).

Things I figured out in high school:

-Naps are essential. 

-If you look out the window and look at the mountains before you take a test or even go into school, your day will be better.

-Your mom is your best friend.

-How to say sorry, and how to forgive.

-How you need a friend that you can always talk with. 

-Their is a world outside of Lone Peak. Just because you don't find a boyfriend or a good friend here doesn't mean you can't after high school.

-You will get as much as you put into a class. 

-You are enough, you are so enough, it is unbelievable how enough you are (my favorite quote). 

-Just because one person doesn't like you, does not mean that everyone won't like you either. 

-Just because you friends don't want to go somewhere doesn't mean that you can't. 

-Don't hid your passions and what makes you happy. You will only find true friends when you show your passions and they share them or support you (I had to learn this one the hard way). 

-Be your biggest cheerleader and be happy for yourself! The world can't wait to see what you do with your life! 

The list of things I didn't figure out, I don't really care to ever learn. But the things that I have figured out I wouldn't trade for a thousand followers on Instagram or for a cute outfit. Lesson that we learn for ourselves are engrained in our mind forever and stay with us. Remember that and go figure out what really matters in high school for you. 

Expectations

Their is an unsaid expectation when you sign up for creative writing. 

You words have to be so poetically romanticized that you make your readers just sit and stare at your blog trying to figure out how you put into words the very thing that has been on their mind. I think it's terrifying to find that bond that connects the readers and the blogger. I hope to find it. 

That expectation is to then be met, in this first post, and then every word that you type after that has to be carefully thought of so that when people read your blog it connects into something much bigger than just one word. It's like how one star is beautiful, but put many stars together and it creates a constellation that every time you look at it, you find new meaning.  

If you are hoping for that kind of blog from me, Olivia Bea (that rhymed, poetry is that easy) that is just not the case. My blog will include the experiences, good and bad, that make me who I am. After all, don't experiences teach us the most? 

You will probably see a lot of my thoughts of my experiences that surround me. These thoughts are suppose to be taken with a grain of salt because after all, they are just my opinion.  

That is why all blog are so different, because the things that happen to people shape us into who we are, it's really a beautiful concept.

I am very sarcastic (aren't we all?) but you will probably see a lot of that in my posts. (Unless the blog turns into a place where all I write is why I'm sad which I hope it doesn't but hey, I'm a teenage girl.) 

You can also expect a lot of my thoughts written in parentheses. (It's mostly where my sarcastic comments go and if you were to remove the things I write in these parentheses, my blog would be a lot different.) 

An American in Paris has been one of my favorite movies for a long time. It shows exactly the artistry that Paris is made up of. To be honest, that movie has gone beyond the idea of just influencing me. 

Go watch that movie. The music, clothes, dancing, singing, etc. is what I am made up of. I could give you my pet peeves, my dislikes, my likes, my ambitions, my heartbreaks, and my accomplishments, but I just haven't figured out how to put myself into words yet.

 So go watch the movie, or at least clips of it.  The art the flows from that movie, flows through me and takes me to Paris where I can write whatever.

I don't expect to be the best creative writing blogger.

I am expect to be me.